I was watching Iyanla Vanzant the other day and had a powerful “aha” moment put into the words that are sometimes so hard to say: A man was telling her that he wasn’t sure that he really wanted a relationship with his dad, but that he was 100% sure that he desperately wanted a relationship with what he wanted his dad to be. He wanted clues on how to forgive and accept him, yet wanted to change his dad at the same time.
She responded that the grown man has the ability to choose the kind of relationship that he has with his father, who the father is NOW, and not to let the heartbreak and wounding of the little boy in him to drive the relationship that is there today. The father is not going to be who the son wants him to be, and that’s where forgiveness comes in, in order to be able to move forward.
Wow! so beautifully put… We might not get what we want, however, we always get what we need.
If you desire to move forward and are ready to let go of your emotional blocks, beliefs, and feeling like you are in ‘want’ (feeling like you are lacking something), so you can see where you are going and have the relationships that are present to you now, give me a call or contact me through my website. Nothing is permanent and change and growth are always possible when we focus our energy on them!